20 Telltale Signs You’re A Mother

One of the many lessons motherhood teaches is a greater appreciation for the little things in life. It’s those mundane everyday experiences that you once took for granted that become so precious to you when you’re a mom. Things like being able to take a nap or eating a full meal while it’s still warm. These are rare moments in the daily grind of motherhood.

When you actually sit down to think objectively about your daily experiences as a mother,  you begin to realize how completely insane and absurd some of them are. Even the simplest of tasks can become incomprehensibly challenging when you have a child. Something as simple as taking a shower can be a feat to get through uninterrupted sometimes.   The thing is, the level of absurdity of certain situations or experiences makes it such that you really don’t know whether to laugh or cry about it all.

For the most part, I tend to get a good laugh out of these moments. Of course, when I am in the moment, I’m probably losing my shit or on the verge of a mental  breakdown. But after, when the dust of the daily chaos settles and I have time to reflect back on the events of the day, it never ceases to make me laugh how cray-cray things can get. Things you never imagined could happen before having children actually happen.

This inspired me to compile a list of those absurd moments, thoughts, feelings, experiences, that are ultimately a testament to my role as a mother. I guess you can say they are sort of my badges of honour (or dishonour in some cases).

So here we go.

You know you’re a mom when:

1. You get genuinely excited about going grocery shopping alone.

2. Sleeping in means waking up at 7:00 am.

3. You can’t remember the last time you finished a coffee while it was still warm.

4. Driving alone in your car feels like the great escape.

5. You fantasize regularly about sleeping.

6. When you go out alone carrying nothing but your purse, you have a constant feeling that you are forgetting something because you don’t have 12 bags and a child to carry.

7. Dry shampoo is your go to hair styling product.

8. Sniffing another humans bum several times a day is considered normal.

9. You can’t wait for the baby to go to sleep to get a break, but then miss them when they are sleeping.

10. You pee a little when you laugh too hard. Or sneeze too hard. Or cough to hard. Or (insert event here).

11. You are desperate for your baby to sleep through the night so you can finally get some sleep, but spend the night awake checking the baby monitor worrying that something is wrong when the finally do.

12. You are still singing “Jingle Bells” well into January because it’s STILL your child’s new favorite song.

13. You sometimes hide to eat a snack so you don’t have to share.

14. You regularly have a spectator when you use the bathroom.

15. Tired has become your permanent state.

16. The majority of the TV shows you watch are animated.

17. You constantly think you hear the baby crying when you’re in the shower.

18. You find yourself humming the “Paw Patrol” theme song well after the baby has gone to bed.

19. Your daily exercise routine looks something like this:

• 53 chair squats (AKA picking yourself and/or your child off the floor 53 times per day)
• 78 forward bends with 23 pound weights (AKA squatting to pick up something off the floor at least 78 times while holding a 23 pound baby)
• Sprinting randomly throughout the day (AKA running after your toddler)
• Climbing stairs 20 times per day (AKA number of trips to the laundry room)
• 8 – 10 Spontaneous wrestling matches (AKA diaper changes, dressing and undressing the baby, putting the baby in the car seat, putting the baby in the high chair, and any other time you need your child to do something they don’t want to do).
• 10 arm rows (AKA number of times you sweep/vacuum each day)
• 2 – 4 daily 15 minute hot yoga sessions (AKA putting on and taking off your child’s snow suit).

20. Finally, you know you’re a mom when, despite everything mentioned above, you would do it all over again in a heart beat. And you actually do! Every. Single. Day. Sigh!

What everyday experiences remind you that you belong to the motherhood club?  I would love to hear your experiences! Please share in the comment section below.